I was asked to write my Spiritual Biography as part of an application to become a "missionary" (basiclly a work exchange program), at the Optimum Health Institute in San Diego. I decided to share it on my blog.
I was born into the Church Of Christ: A fundamental, non-denominational tradition. God was #1 to my Mother, her Family was everything to her. She was dedicated to both. My Father was a Workaholic, I include this in my spiritual biography because I learned THAT YOU BETTER WORK TODAY BECAUSE THERE MIGHT NOT BE WORK TOMORROW!! Not having a united front taught me that people have different priorities. Dad had to work to feed five kids and his wife. They were both raised during the depression and never got over the ingrained believe that there would NEVER be enough. FOOD was extremely important to both my parents. They both knew hunger, something I have never experienced except when detoxing. Food was WAY MORE important to them then I believe is healthy. Dad told me, “I would rather eat my Banana Cream pie and Die then not eat my pie.” His choice. Mom did die because she was addicted to sugar and the cancer feed on it. Growing up I did not understand why I could not participate in the “Walkathons” ?? They were raising money for a good cause? wasn't that a “Christian” thing to do?? But I was not allowed because it was on a Sunday and it was a SIN to not go to church on a Sunday!!!! To the day my Mom died she believed I was going to HELL because I was never baptized. In the Church Of Christ you are suppose to get yourself baptized when you know what the bible says and are ready to live your life accordingly. Well.... I saw a lot of hypocrisy AND I knew I was a “Sinner”, I did not want to get baptized and then be a hypocrite? So I never got baptized. Very sad and hard on my Mother. I rebelled from the “Church” when I was 13. As an adult I explored every possible religion that interested me. I was discovering and learning what other people in the world believed?
After I had my child I got very paranoid?? When ever my daughters Father went to change her diaper or give her a bath I KNEW he would be doing something sexual to her?? Not knowing why I had these uncontrollable feelings I sought help in Therapy. I had repressed the knowledge that my brother had sexually abused me when i was in sixth grade??? From there I attempted every form of therapy imaginable to deal with the pain of having been sexually abused. I did group therapy, rapid Eye Movement Desensitization (originally at OHI), Group Radiance Breathwork/ Holotropic Breathwork, Art Therapy, Ropes Course, I was Hypnotized, I walked on fire, when I was 30 years old I cycled across the USA speaking out against Childhood Sexual Abuse?? I cant even think of everything I have done to help myself get over the negative affects of the break of trust my brothers actions caused me??
Thanks to all the work I have done on myself, the women in the meditation group I was a part of for 14 years, my courage AND a few wonderful boyfriends that helped me through the process, I have been able to have a wonderfully fulfilling life. That is not to say that from time to time something doesn't;t happen to re-open the wound, but all in all I consider myself a healthy, happy, fulfilled, THRIVING individual.
I now attend the Center For Spiritual Enlightenment in San Jose. I go when I want, I cry almost every time I go. I LOVE what I hear and how I incorporate it into my life.
I am facilitating the Artist Way at Deborahs Palm in Palo Alto which is a community for women. I love and appreciate the process.I also enjoy NATURE more than anything. I love a LUSH GREEN environment. My home is in New Zealand www.heavenunderthemoon.com I took a year sabbatical from life in 2001 and cycled around a lot of the world on my bicycle. I was specifically looking for somewhere in the world to live in NATURE. I followed my Gut, it lead me to my HEAVEN.I have been away from my home for three years now do to family and a need to be close to them. I am attempting to prepare myself to grow stronger to return to my home. Part of my reluctance to going back to my home is that I will have to face the pain of my partner no longer being with me.. After some traumatic health challenges he has decided to live his life in his hometown in Holland, without me. I believe part of my spiritual journey is to get as strong as I can, physically, emotional and spiritually before returning to my home... then to decide what I want to do with the rest of my life.
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