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THE IMPORTANCE OF FEMALE FRIENDSHIPS

12/6/2012

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Joan Regli and I have been friends sense birth. I named my daughter after her. We lived next door to each other. As kids we were inseparable, we never wanted to be apart. I remember going to her house and begging her Mom to let me spend the night... If she said "no" we would go to my Mom and ask if Joanie could spend the night at my house. We learned to kiss by practicing on each other, I accidentally wet my pants on her several times from laughing sooo much, once when she was on the bottom of the dog pile at school, once on the swing in front of my house. We stripped for the boys at the end of our block. We kissed the boys behind the portables. We went in separate directions when I turned to drugs, alcohol and sex to deal with my reality. Joan had an amazing upbringing, she didn't need anything to take her away from her reality. After I got straight our friendship reunited. I always wanted her Mother to be my Mother. Growing up they NEVER had to go to church. My Mom never understood how those four kids all became religious and her five wanted nothing to do with going to church?? I guess Mom never learned that you cant force anything on anyone. People have to find their own believes, their own truths, their own way in life. Joan's Mom never understood what she did wrong to get four religious kids?? She used to say to me, "Cheryle" what did I do wrong?? They gave me another religous book to read" 
I am soo happy to be back in California to be reunited yet again with my BELOVED friend. There were sooo many times when I lived in New Zealand that I wish she could have been there with me or I could have been witih her in CA. When her Mother died... I hated not being there for her. Life is FAST, short, quick, blink and it is over. I'm appreciating the life we have shared together and all the adventures we still have to come.

I was inspirered to write soemting about my deal long term friend after listening Forum on KQED tonight about the importance of female friends. I highly suggest listening to it, especialy if you are raising daughters and you want them to have rich relationships with women when they are adults.  

I would NOT be who I am today without the LOVE and SUPPORT of my meditation group. Judy Cardoza, Dellalou Swan, Joyce Bryson, Liz Blackford, Maralyn Chambrau and soo many others. I learned soo much from them. I was a part of that group for 20 or so years. It came to an end not long before I moved to NZ 12 years ago.

I attmepted to get a womens group going in NZ... I offerend Full Moon Drumming for women, (I was labled a witch), I started a book group for women, (i was labled a lesbian), I was already labled a whore because I am a massage therapist!!!! Needless to say the womens group never took off. 

Laura Woodrow started Womens Web 5 months ago, it's a group for like minded women wanting to love and support eachother. THRILLED to be a part of this group now, VITALLY important to me. To support and be supported by other women, we need it, I need it. (let me know if you want to join??)

Check out the pod case on KQED, tell me what it inspires in you?? http://www.kqed.org/a/forum/R201212061000
http://abandofwives.ning.com

http://nothingbutthetruth.com

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Me and Sandy on TOP of Half Dome, Yosimite

Sandy was a client originally, I helped her through labor and deliver. She did not have any medical intervention, one STRONG woman. Kayla is now 20 years old. Friendship is VITAL to our lives, we both appreciate our love for one another. Sometimes in life we find someone as screwed up as we are and it is nice to know there is another in the world that we can depend on to be "there" for us even if they barf on our favorite hat.

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Lynda and I cycling in Amsterdam

We meet in NZ, I was having dinner at her brothers house, she wizzed in, asked to borrow a water blaster (just before dark) then flew out the door. I said, "who is that? I want to meet her" We have been having adventures together ever sense.

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Me and Diana at Burningman

We meet by me having my hands all over her body when she was naked!! (she was a client tooo, I know, lucky meeeee, what a great job I have.)
We have walked on fire together, bent rebar in our throat, shared meals and shared ourselves. I am now the proud Aunty to her beautiful Olivia Grace.

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Me and Hannah in San Diego

Diana brought her to NZ, she painted clouds on the ceiling of the Drawing-room. We fell in love instantly.
She converted her living-room into her Art Studio.
She is an artist from head to toe.
I adore her.

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Liz and I at Heaven in New Zealand

We meet when I went next door to see if I could borrow a blender. She was my first friend to come visit me in NZ. She bought a house three years latter and now lives there most the year.

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Joanie and I on a weekend together in San Francisco

I gave birth to her almost 31 years ago.
She is my child.
She has made me a GRANDMA!!!! 
We are begging to become friends.
I LOVE her.

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My sister Jennifer at the Art Deco festival in Napier NZ.
We can count Falco as a girlfriend TOO!!! He loves to dress up about as much as the rest of us girls.

My sister is my Idol, always has been always will be. She is AMAZING.

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Me and Alice at the Light House on the Awhitu Peninsula NZ

Alice was 12 when I was born, she says she was my second Mother, I believe her.

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Jeanette

We meet in Massage School when Joanie was 4, (she will be 31 in March). Jeanette remembers the first time she came to visit and Joanie answered the door barking like a dog. Now Joanie has a nine month old son of her own. How time flyssssss.

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Me and Emily playing on the swing in Hawaii waiting for the sun to come up.
I think I fell in love with her because she reminds me of my best friend from birth, Joan Regli.

We meet the day we both got a ride on the bus to Kalani just over one year ago. 
It was destiny that be know each other.

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Margot at my Birthday several years ago.

WE meet in NZ, at a cafe... I said, "you look familiar, do I know you?"
Friends ever sense.

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Kimy

Another Crazy American I meet in NZ.
Falco and I went store to store in Auckland passing out brochures promoting Heaven Under The Moon. Kimy thought Falco was good enough looking to find an excuse to get to know us.

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Judith

Another Nutty Kiwi
She sent me this photo of her holding a dead Turkey she picked up on the side of the road. She told me, "you are the only person I know who will understand this." She took it home, butchered it and put it in the freezer.

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Memories of Smells

12/5/2012

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Tonight it was the smell of Mock Orange... at least that is what I call it?? No idea what it's real name is??
The smell only comes out at night? Why???? I have no idea?
The memory is of my life with Bob.
He had one in his front yard on the way to the front door.
It is a Hawaiian Smell?
Sweet, Perfume, Fresh, Overpowering, LOVELY.

This morning it was the smell of a mandarin. Peeling the bright orange fruit. The spray of the oil. CHRISTMAS. Mom always put one at the bottom of our Christmas stocking. I always associate the smell of Mandarins with Christmas. Thanks MOM.

Gardenias = The evening we told Jims father I was pregnant. Walking up to his front door I smelled Gardenias. I will never smell a gardenia without remembering that night.

Mint = The first time I had a massage by Seth at Orr Hot Springs, He crushed fresh mint before he massaged by face. I grew it outside my office on San Antonio Road in Los Altos and did the same for my clients for 14 years.

Douglas Fir - Christmas. My favorite variety of Christmas tree, they grew like wild fire on our property in Saratoga. We used to cut them down each year, we hated them, we didn't want a "Charlie Brown" tree, we wanted one from a tree lot...... All I want now is to go to our old property and cut down a tree with the smell that reminds me of my Childhood Christmases.

Lilac = Mrs. Huston, my Moms best friend when I was growing up. She wore Lilac as her perfume? She had a plastic fake boquet on the back of her toilet? or next to her sink? I loved her, the way she smelled and her purple hair.

Sunscreen = The Bob Dow i knew and loved.

Brute aftershave cologne = Tom Barton/My Dad.

A Construction site = My Childhood, growing up working on Dads jobs. Fresh

In New Zealand I have a jar with dried Bay, Mugwort, Pine and Sage. When I'm homesick for California I open the jar and take a good long sniff. Now that I am in California I can smell these smells every day I go for a walk in the woods. NOW I miss New Zeland, my bed, view, life and jar of smells that remind me of California.

Tell me your smell memories???


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    Single FIFTY ONE year YOUNG female, Mother of 33 year old daughter, GRANDMOTHER to 3 year old Tanner John, 1 1/2  old GRANDAUGHTER Taylor Lee and LAST BUT NOT LEAST GREAT Aunt to 5 year old Jordan (I call him Buddah or Typhoon)

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