It took me quite awhile to fully acknowledge, absorb, accept, come to terms with the ending of my last relationship… … THREE FRIGGEN YEARS AGO ALREADY!!!! (I guess some people are slower at some things than others??)
Page 104 to 200......it is about all endings, the ultimate Death of loved ones and ourselves.. Long story short, EVERY new beginning has the potential (more than likely) for an ending to be a part of it. Perhaps that contributes to why attempting to keep my heart open can be a challenge for me??
This spot by the creek... I was drawn to it this afternoon.. It;s a place of my youth.. My sister went to Girl Scout camp here? We played in the creek on hot days... I collected rocks (shhhh... don't tell anyone) I loaded up the trunk of my car MANY times, I made a path to my front door at my home on Bryant St. I put all those rocks in my cargo container and took them to New Zealand,,, The sound of the creek is home to me, the smell is home to me.. laying on my back and looking up at the sky through the trees is home to me. I LOVE my self portrait from today, I see my NEW necklace I bought myself today for my 49th birthday, it is a REMINDER for ME...to be LIGHTHEARTED AND KEEP AN OPEN HEART.. This is about the third year in a row my intention has been to keep my heart open.. I guess some things take longer to learn than others??
Moment by Moment by Moment, I will be with the unfolding of my life, roll with the joys and sorrows, the ups and downs...to the best of my ability, attempt to be here and now with where I am in each moment..
This weekend, at ESALEN... I finished, "Be The Person You Want To Find" by Cheri Huber...... PROFOUND.... Every simple sentence, basic, clear, elementary.... ALL of which I HOPE I can incorporate into my life..... GET IT IN MY BONES??
I'm not sure which retreat I will go to this summer?? I have a conflict with each one?? TOOOO MANY THINGS I WANT TO DO!!!