OR..... A LITTLE HELP FROM MY FRIENDS
On Monday I was helping my client move from the massage table into his wheelchair. I did it WRONG.... It was a lift and twist at the same time. My Back felt pain. On Tuesday I took care of myself by getting an acupuncture appointment. It helped. On Wends I was worse, I was on my way to get some aspirin to help the pain but decided to first plant some succulents that I had been intending to plant for a month... I could NOT get up after I planted them. My back was in sooooo much pain I could not move in any direction. I yelled for Dad, he brought me my yoga mat. I laid on the ground for 45+ minutes.. I eventually pulled myself up using the post that was close to me. It was painful. I made it to my bed. I could NOT get out when I had to go to the bathroom??? I yelled for Jessica to come help me. I pulled myself out of bed by using my arm strength with help from the headboard. I got into her car, went to the acupuncturist for a massage. LONG story short... it did not help much if any.... I made it home to bed. A friend gave me some pain killers. In the middle of the night I had to go to the bathroom... I was on the toilet going pee and knew I was going to faint, (I have fainted many times in my life I know when it is going to happen), When I came to, I was laying face down, (yes, in my own pee!!!!) FUCK, I hate to pass out, I hear what sounds like a swarm of bees in my head, (same sound after AMAZING SEX??? Love to know what it is from?? I always think it is my brain frying??) I screamed, no one heard me. I eventually dragged myself back to bed. My face was hurting????? I yelled and yelled until I woke Jessica up, (poor kid) She brought me an ice pack for my face. Come to find out??? I must have hit my cheek bone on the door knob when I passes out?
My long time client offered to give me a massage when I told him I had back pain and had to cancel his massage. I said YES. I said YES again when he offered to come back in the evening to give me ANOTHER Massage. I said YES when he offered to buy me an anti-inflammatory. I called MY dear friend and acupuncturist, she came to my home and gave me a session. I am now able to get in and out of bed without excruciating pain BUT I am not back to normal?? Another dear sweet friend brought me lunch and a back brace. Wow... I really felt LOVED and TAKEN care of by everyone. I was not ALONE in this world.
I still feel pain/discomfort when moving in certain ways... I feel weak and very tight in my low back and right hip. I'm still in healing mode.
What lessons for me so far????.......
ACCEPT the reality of my physical limitations.
ASK for HELP from many people.
I can NOT work and I can only accept that there is nothing I can do about it.
Rest and sleep all day.
ASK for HELP again, and again and again because I can not change my own sheets, make my own bed, cook my own food... THANK YOU DAD, for brining me my yoga mat, water, aspirin, heating pads, cooking my eggs.
There is NOTHING i can Letting people down because I can not live up to my commitments... BIG ONE FOR ME.
I could NOT hold or carry my Grandson.
I'm on my way to get my neck adjusted?? Supposedly if the Atlas is aligned the rest of the Vertebrae fall into alignment after a week or two or month?? My Grandma Kirk took me to get my neck adjusted when I was a kid and passing out all the time. I think it helped. My Mom got her neck adjusted after a year of being house bound from back pain, (she didn't want to take Grandma Kirks advice!! Stubborn old thing!!!) IT HELPED HER, it healed her, she was a BELIEVER. The Dr. I'm going to see today took the practice over from Dr. Young who took it over from Dr. Zimmerman who invented this machine that WOMPS your atlas, I always feel like it is going to chop off my head it has such a loud THUNK but there is no pain or discomfort involved. But there is TRUST, trust that the Dr. knows what he is doing?? I'm going to give it a try and make sure to write down the results fo the adjustment?? See if it helps my low back eventually.
Why do I feel compelled to write about this?????
I'm attempting to "process" what I am going through... make sense of it? Accept it? Share with others that there is HOPE to get better BUT we have to TAKE ACTION, ASK FOR HELP, RECEIVE what is offered to us, pay attention to our bodies, REST, not OVER DO IT... I'm talking to myself here. I work too hard, try to do too much, exert tooo much effort, don't give myself enough sleep. Alllll my life my Mom told me "you are burning the candle at both ends" There is just sooooo much I want to DO, accomplish, enjoy. I used to carry my best friend Joan Regli around on my back. My Mom told me to STOP doing that, I would have back problems as an adult. I'm not sure if it was from caring Joanie around or Lifting and moving the GIANT FREEZER in NZ, or Shoveling load after load of Gravel in NZ or ???? sooo many stupid things I did. I HOPE I REMEMBER to NEVER again Lift and Twist. I know better. I HOPE I will always STRETCH after every form of exercise. RE-ELONGATE my muscles. I HOPE I can accept all the physical challenges that will inevitably happen to me as I age. I have always heard... Getting OLD is not for the weak.... Good thing I am STRONG!!!!!!!!!!
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