His Poem below reminded me of my experience with the butterflies after my dear Dellalou died.
He told me that the night his mother died, there were storms & far away lightning & someone left the window open & the room filled with a swirl of butterflies & she slipped out without anyone noticing
& I'm sure the grief was softer because of that.
I was at a glass camp in Germany at the time. I had a powerful dream one night about how much fun Dellalou would have being with me at this amazing art school, I felt her presence, her spirit flying through the place. There was no internet connection, phone or means of communicating for the three weeks I was there. When I got back to civilization and checked my e-mails there were many, some from Dellalou.. "where are you? I think you are in Germany, call me" some from friends, "Call Dellalou she is in hospice" then there were others.... "I'm sorry" ........
I couldn't believe it???? Dellalou was fine!!! She was taking horse back ridding lessons with her oxygen tank but she was FINE!!!!! How could she die??? I was in a crying rage , thinking to myself ??? "why didn't I make an agreement with Dellalou to let me know if there was life after death by making a pack with me to come back and let me know by giving me a sign" EXACTLY then, I heard.... ikk..ikkk.... I looked up and there in the closet of my bedroom was a butterfly sitting on my clothes?? Immediately I knew the butterfly was Dellalou, beyond a shadow of a doubt, she was telling me "silly girl, we didn't need to verbally make a pack, here I am, it is true, there is life after the ones in our bodies on earth"
That night two butterflies slept in the rafters of our garden house in Holland. The next day there were HUNDREDS of butterflies in the garden, (there had never been any EVER!!) PEACE and ACCEPTANCE filled me in that experience. I knew Dellalou was around me, in me, a part of me. I miss her on a daily basis but I do not have grief. When the butterflies come around She brings me JOY. She BELIEVED we were on this earth to ENJOY IT, to expereince Joy every minute of every day.
A year ago I was swimming back in Kealakakua Bay (same place Dellalou and I had been 15years earlier), I had a beautiful experience with a baby dolphin that had been swimming calmly with it;s mother until I started singing "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and the baby started jumping out of the water Spinning, going Nuts. It was one of the most beautiful experience I had ever had with the dolphins. As I swam back to shore a Butterfly (Dellalou) swam right above me, hovering over the water right next to me allll the way back to shore. She came to join me again, to enjoy a swim with our friends.
On that same trip with Dellalou 15 years earlier, our mediation group went to get dolphin tattoos after out first swim with the dolphins. I was the last to get one because I KNEW my Mother would KILLLLLLLLL me. (That is another funny story, she didn't kill me, in fact a few years latter we were back in Kealakakua Bay for Christmas with my family and Mom tried to get Joanie to get a dolphin tattoo, she said" Joanie, If I swam with the dolphins I would go get a tattoo") UNBELIEVABLE, surprise surprise, never imagined in my wildest dreams that my Mother would encourage my daughter to get a tattoo. Joanie said, "My Father would KILLLL me" Verry funny what we do and don't do because of what we think our parents will think of us?? and sometimes were WRONG???
I digressed.... Back to this story.....
Directly after the beautiful swim last year with the dolphins and Dellalou's Butterfly I went directly and got a tattoo. The original was just the one dolphin, I added the "waves" which is a design I have done all my life, the baby dolphin (in memory of the experience with the dolphin and in anticipation of having a grandchild, (tanner is now almost 9 months old) and my butterfly in memory of my dear Dellalou who I know is an Eternal Butterfly enjoying her life and spreading her JOY.
PS. The butterfly photo was taken by me, in our garden, when this miracle happened.
PSS. The other thing you should know about Dellalou is that she changed her name to Vanessa (which means Butterfly), at a certain time in her life after having had a beautiful expereince with a butterfly who was in the process of dying. ALLL the more reason I knew the butterflies were Dellalou!!!